MOOSE TRAP
i had succumbed to my tininess me teeniness ze bopperness
within my moose call which goes
“help! I’m stuck in the phone! get me out of here!!”
moose traps are a highly specialized, highly complicated, western design
for moose are huge, dangerous, taller than wembanyama
i set it how all my foredaddies had taught me
and i will teach you the way
first, a small crumby text about an email
second, a crumbly emawell fuck I’m caught the moose caught me
comrade christine asked if i wanted to know the secret
the secret to what she never specified
perhaps the secret to a fruitful fruit
or to not being so stupid
but she said it just like this
girls
girls girls girls henry
this is the way
so now I’m on a stripper pole on a party bus outside the poetry reading
living my bereft life girl
dialing it back
i’m not going to take it there
i’ve been all in your face i made up
from way over yonder
as we like to say way out west
i’m taking a step back
none of the trimmings
you’re getting your money’s worth
you’re worthy of money
i’ll shower you with taxable deductions
i’ll simply sidestep any reality
if you want
beyond friendly commentary on the weather we’ve been having
lovely weather we’ve been having lately
the weather we’ve been having lately is lovely
the butcher paper sky and the hot-blooded sunset
dialing it back on a rotary phone
calling only you with each circular stroke of my fingertip
eieueuhhh like a freak on a leash
my creepy plastic vampire moment
my perfume voiceover OBSESSION
BETRAYAL INSOUCIANCE DESIRE
the atomizer the prism the rainbow
spectrum checking the bathroom floor where i think
i’m leaning into my crepuscular era
and my canine incisors cut to the touch
you’ve got a little red on your face
some blue in your heart let me get that for you
thumb stroke under the eye and
**yom yom yom yom** your heart is michelin-starved
likeable and bitter and yours
we encourage you to eat this meal as the locals do
without silverware with your hands with arrows in your back
i just can’t help my bad clavicle habit
i could not resist my childhood dream
of an open heart surgery at the paws of 8 organ grinder monkeys
to live a life of tv the rest of my days
soap operas and boxes
preacher man and kierkeygard
won’t you think of me as george clooney in ER
as george clooney in ocean’s 27
as vera farmiga playing opposite george clooney
in up in the air call it skillful suspension of lief
call it testing the tightrope over the canyon before i plummet to my
girl i didn’t eat any of the serious parts
girl i only tried a 2 ounce pour
i’ll toss it right back just let me bobble a little longer please
let me get it to the center ring* *bring* *bring*
forgot where i was for a minute
forgot the size of my antics within my juggling act
your moose part my moose part plus a cosmic bowling pin
on fire for good show and odd number if
i drop it big if
lowly likely such tact of a put-together shoelace
i’ll hose off all the sawdust and elephant shit promise
be my volunteer in the endless supply of audience
and if my full-shower lines read yeehaw to you
i will translate them to russian
for the sake of their cigarette smoke and coke mirrors
ah mother russia
ah драгоценности лось
girls girls girls
your iron is sufficient your skyscraper sharp
girl all i’m asking for it’s nothin really
in return of this major intern surgery
is its brutalist penthouse suite
and VIP access to all future emergencies